Saturday, July 7, 2007

Monday, July 2, 2007

Random Addition

I am going to add the only paper i have ever been proud of to this blog. So, without further ado, here it is:

"Everyone Has Their Moment:
This is Mine
There is a moment in everyone’s life that pivotally changes it for forever. It is a moment that is unforgettable, irreversible, and even holy. For some, it is the moment in which they become a man or woman. For others, it is the moment they realize their parents are not perfect. For still others, it is the moment in which they decide to turn their lives around. My moment had many consequences, some for good and others for bad. My pivotal moment was the time I found out my father was an alcoholic.
My memory begins with being shaken awake by my fifteen year old brother. I was eight or nine years old and obviously dreaming very happily in some far distant world, so I was very disgruntled by the disturbance. When I complained to my brother about being awakened, he told me Mom had sent him to wake me up and to tell me to get ready to leave. I moodily answered no, I would not be leaving the comfort of my bed, no matter what the reason was. I vividly remember seeing the worry etched in his face, the elder brotherly protective mode was suddenly thrown into gear. This gear was very dusty, as it had never before been used in my lifetime. When I saw this I immediately saw the significance of the situation and humbly obeyed.
The next fragment of my memory begins with arriving at my Bishop’s house in the middle of the night. My mom explained everything to the Bishop as we sat on hard wooden chairs in his living room. As I heard more history about the father I had once adored, my feelings for him and my very soul were slowly being obliterated step by step. It was as if I was tumbling down a seemingly endless staircase and every time I emotionally hit a step my body felt as if it were physically being abused too. Every time my mother had pulled us out of the house to sleep in our car in the middle of a parking lot was because of my drunk father. The emotions I should have felt on those occasions were compounded into an unexpected last and brutal fall. The happy, carefree childhood I had so enjoyed was rapidly diminishing around me. Suddenly the world was brimming with evil men, all of them creeping steadily toward that Bishop’s house. With every beat of my heart I saw the heavy wood door hammered in a little closer, with each beat the evil men were fighting to get a hold me. With every tear I cried I felt my soul within me writhe and tremble as if it were about to bifurcate. One half of my soul fought for the hatred of my father while the other pleaded for mercy on his behalf.
To this day I still feel the consequences of my pivotal moment, and it never seems to end. I can’t look at my father without feeling some part of this moment come back to life like a fire within me. I will always fear what that moment did to me and my greatest fear will always be of me doing it to someone else. For this reason, I seriously doubt I will ever get married. Although I have been hurt by this experience, I have also learned many good things because of it.
From that moment on, my family has grown very close together. It has also forced me to learn for myself how to be a man, for example I learned how to tie a tie from the internet. Although these are very important lessons, by far the most important lesson I have learned from this experience is how to decide for myself. Many psychologists say that children will always follow in their parents footsteps. Many children use this as an excuse for their bad habits, but I can promise this is not true. Everyone has the freedom to choose their own path in life and everyone can overcome the obstacles placed before them by their ancestors."


Anyway, i just wanted to add this because even though i wrote it a year ago, its the only paper i am proud to admit that i wrote. I could probably write it better now or make corrections, but i prefer to keep it the way i wrote it then. Oh, and i don't mean to depress anyone who reads this, i just liked the paper, thats all.

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Accidents

I hate accidents. They always show how very weak and fragile life can be. From spilling milk to totalling a car, all accidents have the same root cause. Imperfection. No matter how hard we try, something will always go wrong. Something will break, something will fall, something will fall apart, and its guaranteed to happen.

Does that mean that there is nothing we can do about it? Does that mean that accidents are inescapable? Of course not. There is always something we can do to keep it from happening. But its that same root problem, imperfection, that drives reason and foresight from our minds. Imperfection is what keeps us from avoiding accidents, even though all accidents are avoidable by definition.

We always want things to happen in just the perfect way, and we will always work very hard to try to make them happen that way. However, imperfection will find a way to distract us, make us uncertain, make us clumsy, or frighten us just enough to shatter our ideals. But does that mean that accidents have to be a complete waste? Is there nothing that we can gain from them? Again, of course not!

First of all, our ideals are not always what are really best for us. For example, one of my ideals used to be that i would be a single rich bachelor for the rest of my life. However, that dream has been shattered by my experiences. So a broken ideal can teach us and help to actually improve our lives.

Finally, my last thought on accidents. We should never let fear of making a mistake drive our lives and keep us from doing the things that we really want to do. NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER let fear of anything keep you from living the way that you want to live. Its true, when you walk out that door every morning, you never know where the wind might blow you. But you will never experience the joys and triumphs that life has to offer if you hide in fear. Its your life, don't let anything get in the way of living it, especially fear.